Who Killed Lord Vetinari?
by King Kazul
Summary: This is random and pointless and very short. WARNING! don't read this if you're looking for a serious story. It is a mix of characters from Discworld, Harry Potter, Enchanted Forest, and Artemis Fowl.
1. The Charges and a Dead Vetinari

Disclaimer: I own Nothing! Nothing I tell you!

Summary: this has no plot. It is random and stupid and pointless. I am on a sugar high. Does that tell you all you need to know?

Who killed Lord Vetinari?

Lord Vetinari sat in his office and twiddled his thumbs. He was dead. But no one had told _him._ Suddenly the auditors appeared.

Why is he still moving, said one.

Maybe he is a ghost, said another.

I think he's too solid to be a ghost, said a third.

You said I, said the second one.

Oh- damn, said the third and disappeared.

"Excuse me!" said Vetinari. "but would you –er, gentleman please tell me what is going on. AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN MY OFFICE!?" he bellowed.

That is none of your business, said an auditor and they all left, by changing reality so they were somewhere else, or possibly nowhere at all. Only they know that.

Suddenly, Voldemort, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Cimorene, Shiara, Telemain, Artemis, Juliet, Foaly, Holly, and Death were in his office. Hermione screamed. Then Harry said "what are we doing here?"

King Kazul appeared. You are all here because I want you here. She said. She too could change reality so that she had spoken or rather change the story so that she had spoken because she was the author.

"Why do you want us here?" Hermione asked nervously.

King Kazul roared with evil laughter. "so that I can arrest you all." She said evilly. "that is my evil plot to overthrow the world, one character at a time. Now the charges. Let's see. Lord Vetinari you are under arrest for being dead. The jury?" two birds, a rabbit, six deer, fourteen cats, two dogs and seven squirrels appear. The room is filled with noise. "The...jury...has...proclaimed...you...guilty" King Kazul managed above the noise. "take him away!" two men in uniform appeared and dragged Vetinari away, kicking and screaming. Everyone else was arrested, Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, Draco for being incredibly hot, Voldemort for being evil, Cimorene for being a queen and not telling anyone (actually everyone), Neville for being an idiot, Shiara for being a useless fire-witch and rude as well, Telemain because nobody understood what he said in his defense, Artemis for being a naughty, naughty little boy, Juliet for attacking King Kazul when her back was turned, Holly for possession of an illegal weapon, Foaly for having four legs, and Death for being too skinny.


	2. Internal combustion and Inigo Montoya

A/N: Yup I'm back. Not that anyone is likely to be reading this, but that's okay. BTW Violet is from Hogfather so if you've never read it you won't know who she is.

Disclaimer: I own noboby. Even the plot, since there isn't one.

All of the characters were in the jail cell. Voldemort had backed Hermione against the wall. "WHERE IS HARRY POTTER." He roared

Hermione was trembling. "I don't know, really." She said. "we were in Potions, and Snape took all the Slytherins, 'cept Draco here on a field trip to an art museum, then Mcgonagall took all the Griffindors 'cept me an' Neville on a fiel' trip 'cause Neville ha' to finish 'is potion an' I 'ad to 'elp 'im then- WHAT?"

"You're talking like Hadrid, d'you know." Said Neville.

"tha's 'cause Voldemor' 'ere is pullin' my teeth ou'" said 'ermione

"oh." said Neville. "well, Voldemort could you stop pulling her teeth out so we can understand what she says? Why are you pulling her teeth out, anyway? Are you gonna use 'em to make a polyjuice potion?"

"well that's an idea." said Voldemort. "but actually I collect them. I do Violet's job on her day off you know."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"Her day off is Tuesday, but occasionally Thursday, too." Said Voldemort.

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"She's very nice she gives me ten bucks for every day I do her job."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"If it weren't for stupid ole' Susan I would of gotten to rescue her, and we would have ridden off into the sunshine together."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville. "and who's Susan?"

"I visit her apartment, occasionally. Violet's that is."

"WHO'S VIOLET?" asked Neville.

Suddenly Death was behind them. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT SUSAN? He said.

Voldemort turned around. He looked nervous. "er...very nice girl"

YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT, Death said

"well...not _exactly_"

WHY NOT

"You listen here sir. Don't you go having at attitude with me."

Death pulled an hourglass out of his robes. WHAT A SHAME. He said

"Sorry," said Harry, who had just appeared, "but _what's _a shame?" then he disappeared.

HE'S NOT DUE TO DIE TODAY, replied Death

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shrieked Voldemort. "WHERE DID HE GO? WORMTAIL!"

Wormtail appeared. "yes, master?"

"bring me the boy." Voldemort ordered.

"yes master." Wormtail disappeared.

"WORMTAIL!" Voldemort screamed.

Wormtail reappeared. "YOOOOUUUU RAAAANNNNNGGGGGG?"

"HEY!" Harry shouted, after appearing again. "You're not Lurch!"

"oh, really?" Wormtail looked in the mirror that Hermione had so helpfully conjured. "you're right." He disappeared and suddenly Lurch appeared.

"YOOOOUUUU RAAAANNNNNGGGGGG?" Then Morticia and Gomez appeared.

"Gomez, dear, where are we?" asked Morticia.

"I don't know, Morticia darling." Said Gomez.

"Oh, look, it's Thing." said Gomez, indicating Thing who had come through the window.

"thank you, thing." Said Morticia taking the piece of paper Thing held out. "You are in a jail cell," she read. "well that certainly cleared _that_ up."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the jail cell, Vetinari was having hysterics. "DEAD!" he yelled. "HOW DARE YOU! I'M NOT IN THE LEAST DEAD! DEATH, AM I DEAD?"

Death pulled an hourglass out of his cloak. YES, he said.

"NO I AM NOT!" Vetinari yelled. He tapped Neville on the shoulder. "Sir, do I look dead?"

Neville looked at him thoughtfully. "er...you've kinda gone all transparent..."

Vetinari looked in the mirror that Neville had so helpfully conjured. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" he shouted.

Suddenly Inigo and Wesley appeared. "My name is Inigo Montoya." said Inigo Montoya. "You killed my father. Prepare to die!" He looked around. "where are we?"

Meanwhile on the other, _other_ side of the jail cell...

"Foaly, I need a blueprint, of this building." Said Holly.

"I'm not supposed to help you with this mission, Holly," said Foaly.

"WELL, ROOT'S NOT HERE!" shouted Holly.

"Okay, Okay."

"now, about those blueprints..."

"what blueprints?"

"the blueprints of this building!"

"But I don't have a computer!"

"SO MAKE ONE!"

"I HAVE NO SUPPLIES!"

Just then Mendenbar showed up with his sword. "I will create your supplies!"

Holly grabbed the sword. It bit her but she didn't notice. "hey! It's the sword of the sleeping King!" the sword bit her again. She gave it back to Mendenbar. He conjured the supplies and Foaly built the computer. It was very big. The jail cell was very crowded. It now held Voldemort, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Harry, Lurch, Morticia, Gomez, Vetinari, Death, Inigo, Wesley, Artemis, Holly, Foaly, Juliet, Mendenbar, Cimorene, Shiara, Telemain, and the computer.

It wasn't very big.

The whole building internally combusted.

WHAT A SHAME, said Death.


	3. Of Girly Gossip and Professor Mcgonagall

Who killed Lord Vetinari?

Chapter 3: of girly gossip and Professor Mcgonagall

This chapter is dedicated to all those people who let curiosity get the better of them. And clicked on my story.

Disclaimer: let's see. I am not named J.K. Rowling, I am not a man or named Terry, I am not I am not named Patricia, and I do not have a name that absolutely nobody can pronounce. What does that tell you? What heareth I? Audience: (shouts) You own nothing! Wow, we are fast on the uptake, aren't we? (throws Gobstoppers to audience)

A/N: okay, lessee... All my nice reviewers should all get lots of junk food because they are so nice and they reviewed. And because if they have lots of sugar, they'll probably enjoy this more.

intriKate: thank you, thank you, thank you, (takes a bow), I can lend you some superglue to glue your head back on. ï (hands intriKate a piece of cake and a cookie, and some gobstoppers because there are extras)

Esmee Squalor: Wow you actually read this? I feel so special. And yes there are definitely other crazies, and I am on top of the list. Mwahahahahahaha! (hands Esmee a pice of cake and a cookie and some Gobstoppers because I'm not out yet!)

stmaryspeakstofaeries: THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. I THINK I'LL TURN MY CAPS LOCK OFF. MY HAnd is getting tired.( hands stmaryspeakstofaeries a peice of cake. And a cookie. And...) Oh! I know! HALF A SLICE OF CHERRY PIE! (Sorry, whoever wrote that,) (hands pie to stmaryspeakstofaeries because I am all out of gobstoppers.)

DarkMaidenEast: WoW! Those were the longest reviews I've ever gotten. You love my story? I feel so special. And Death rocks. I agree. You want the oh god? I'll give you the oh god. But not in this chapter. Because I wrote it all out before I read your review. ( hands DarkMaidenEast a piece of cake. And a cookie. And some... rummages around in cabinet.) Ah! Here they are! Jolly Ranchers! (Jolly Ranchers) Because you can always use more sugar!

A/N: Now that all my reviewers have been properly rewarded, I shall start the story.

And remember: your left sock is not as innocent as it seems.

THIS TAKES PLACE IN KING KAZUL'S OFFICE

Hermione raised her hand. She didn't wait to be called on. Shame on her! " shouldn't we be slightly dead?" she asked.

King Kazul sighed. "ah. I thought that may come up. Let's see... oh yes. Excuses." She opened a notepad. "Death you are immortal, are you not?"

YES, said Death gravely.

"HA," roared King Kazul so loud that they all jumped. Out the window. Because they'd rather be dead then spend one minute in King Kazul's presence, or worse, King Kazul's fanfic. But if internal combustion didn't kill them what would? And they were only on the first floor...

It didn't work. They were caught. In a net. And hauled back in. Shame on them!

"Now." Said King Kazul as soon as the window was closed and locked. "where was I? Oh yes. HA! One excuse down," she looked up, attempted to count and geve up. "Er...several to go. Now. Harry. You are invincible are you not?"

NO, said Harry.

"Er...Harry?" said Hermione.

WHAT, said Harry.

"You're talking like Death. Again." said Hermione.

"Again?" asked Malfoy. "Is there something somebody isn't telling me?"

Harry snorted. "Why would anyone tell _you _anything?"

Malfoy looked perplexed for a moment. Then he brightened up. "Because my father could have you tortured or subjected to Cher if you didn't." he said.

"Good point." Said Susan.

"Susan, you're supposed to be on Harry's side." King Kazul admonished absently, "Susan? Where'd you come from?

"Up there." said Susan, pointing up. Everyone looked up. "HA! MADE YOU LOOK!" Susan said.

"Young lady, you are going to tell me where you came from, RIGHT NOW!" King Kazul shouted looking remarkably like her mom. In other words, very scary...

"You know there's this new invention, it's called...the DOOR!" Susan said sarcastically.

" Are we ever going to get back to the excuses?" asked Cimorene, ever the practical one,

"'cause this is going absolutely nowhere!"

"Right, the excuses." Said King Kazul sounding relieved. "now where were we. Voldemort, you're not human are you?"

"well..." Voldemort said looking embarrassed. "Not all the way human, no."

"Ha!" said King Kazul for the third time this chapter. "So you cannot die. I rest my case."

" but King Kazul," said Hermione and SHE DIDN'T EVEN RAISE HER HAND! SHAME ON HER! "shouldn't the rest of us be dead?"

"Miss Granger,' said King Kazul now sounding extraordinarily like Professor Mcgonagall (She's certainly good at sounding like other people, isn't she? That's because she's –No! O will not write that here! That is a whole nother story, one that will never be published on this website, and certainly never on a Thursday! Shame on it!) "are you the writer of this fanfic?"

"well, no, but I'll certainly take over for you, if you like." Said Hermione.

"HA!" said King Kazul for the fourth time. (really, fourth. Don't believe me? then count. HA! Proved you wrong.) "you think writing fanfic is easy? Well, I've got news for you." She whispered in Hermione's ear. Hermione laughed.

"really?" she said.

"What did she say?" asked Harry.

"er...nothing," said Hermione quickly. "just some girly gossip.", she said, "anyways can I please write this story? Or at least co-write it?"

"co-write it? with who?" King Kazul asked, letting curiosity get the better of her.

"Harry, of course." Said Hermione kissing him on the cheek. "my one true love."

"You're getting weird, Hermione." Said King Kazul. "I thought you were my friend. If you promise to stop I'll let you contribute ideas."

"Yes!" said Hermione. "I have an idea."

"That was fast." Said King Kazul.

"Let's torture Voldemort." Said Hermione.

"Okay!" said King Kazul. She had never liked Voldemort, much.

"Let's make him sing!" said Hermione.

"Okay." Said King Kazul. "what shall he sing?" Hermione whispered something in her ear. "I always liked that song." Said King Kazul. "he'll ruin it for me. Well, okay, but it has to be a surprise." She turned to Voldemort. (whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper,) she told him. "start at the (whisper, whisper) part.

"_Tap on my window, knock on my door," _Voldemort began.

A secret was revealed to the world.

Voldemort had a terrible singing voice.

"_I want to make you feel beautiful,_

_I know I tend to get so insecure," _Voldemort continued. He was enjoying this now.Everyone ran for cover behind King Kazul's desk.

"_it doesn't matter anymore," _Voldemort sang.

"ENOUGH!" shouted King Kazul who had been forced out from behind her desk by an angry horde, seeking shelter.

Voldemort stopped. He didn't mind. He had just found a new way to torture people.

"_Bad_ idea," said King Kazul. "Hermione, you're fired. Now we're going to–"

"Hey!" said Artemis. "I just realized something."

"_What_, Master Fowl?" Asked King Kazul patiently. ('Cause that's what most people call him. What is he now, like 15?)

"This chapter is, like, completely Harry Potter based." Said Master Fowl. "It's under 'Discworld' you know. And I am Artemis Fowl. I am much smarter than anyone from 'Harry Potter'. Espiacially ole' Moldy Pants here."

" Hey!" said Voldemort. "that's Voldemort to you! Lord Voldemort! Are you makin' fun o' my name?"

"No." said Master Fowl, looking confused. "I was referring to your pants." He pointed to the dark green splotch on old Moldy Voldie's pants. (He's _supposed _to be wearing pants. But for our purposes, let's pretend he's wearing pants.)

" I, artemis Fowl, the–what was it again?" Artemis began. Juliet hurriedly muttered something. "ah, yes the third, challenge you, _Lord_ Moldypants to a spelling bee!"

"I accept!" said Moldypants not considering the consequences of his actions. Shame on him!

"Great." Said King Kazul. "That's what I like–some action!"

Plans were made. And a prophecy. And possibly some other things too.

When the plans were all done everyone said "Yay!" except for Malfoy who didn't like spelling bees, and Neville who was in the bathroom.

He was washing his hands.

They were dirty.

Shame on them!

A/N Who will win the spelling bee? Who will survive? Will Neville _ever _get his hands clean? And will Cimorene, Shiara, and Telemain ever have a real part? Find out in chapter (counts) four, Of Hairbrushes and Spelling Bees, coming soon to bookstores near you. Okay, well maybe websites, and maybe not so near. But yeah.


	4. Of Hairbrushes and Spelling Bees

Chapter 4: of Spelling Bees and hairbrushes

A/N: Wheeeeeeeeeee! I'm back! You couldn't have guessed, could you?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for Tater, Macaroon, Chin-Chin, Salem, and Truffle. I have part ownership in them. They're my kittens.

ThePideon: No, my sister's right. I have more characters than I can handle. So no more. Sorry. But actually there will be, in a wayâif you keep reading you'll find out.

Katie: I know it's funny. At least according to nearly everyone whose read it. Even mom. Seriously, she laughed. Anyways, I know I have more characters than I can handle. That should be taken care of next chapter or so. And I don't _like _grammar. It's a waste of time. PS: Now you know to hide the sugar bowl when I come into the room. And now you also know why mom won't let me drink anything with caffeine in it. Because caffeine has approximately the same effect as sugar, does it not?

A/N Now this story has begun! Well not has begun, but will begin. Anyway.

And remember: Your hairbrush isn't so innocent either.

THIS TAKES PLACE AT THE SPELLING BEE!

The prophecy was made by Harry. Because Trelawney rubbed off on him. It said that one person would not survive the spelling bee (mwahahaha). And Harry said he could pick who didn't because it was his prophecy, wasn't it?

"Attention, attention." Said King Kazul. Because you were reading about Harry's prophecy, and not paying attention to her. Shame on you! "thiseth spelling bee willeth now starteth." She announced. Because she wanted to sounds cool. It didn't work. She just sounded stupid.

"The first word goes to Arty." said the referee. "And the first word isâhippopotapotamus."

"hippopotamus." Said Artemis, "h-i-p-p-o-p-o-t-a-m-u-s. Hippopotamus."

"Wrong!" said the referee cheerfully. "Moldy?"

"hippopotapotamus." Said Moldypants. "H-i-p-p-o. Hippopotapotamus."

"Nope!" said the referee. "Next word" It continued on like this until 

"Right. Now Voldyâyour turn. Your word isâ Avada Kedavra!"

"Avada Kedavra." said Voldemort, not realizing that he was holding his wand as a result of a small scuffle that had resulted from a word thatâbut anyway he was holding his wand as he said the words and as he said them the referee dropped dead.

"HA!" Harry yelled. "I was _so_ right! So there!"

"This spelling bee is OV-AH" announced Morimoto. (Who then disappeared because I have enough characters already thank you _very_ much.)

"Oh, is _that_ how you do it?" Hermione asked. "Avada Kedavra!" She yelled. Voldemort was dead. He didn't mind.

"Now I get to be just like Vetinari!" said he.

"It's not that great, trust me." said the Patrician.

Suddenly Cimorene burst into tears. "I want my mommy," She said.

"There, there Cimorene." said the Frog. "Your um, _mommy_ was the reason you ran away in the first place remember?"

Cimorene brightened right up. "Yeah, that's right! How could I be so stupid? Mwahahahaha!"

"Good girl." said the Frog.

Suddenly Cimorene burst into tears again. "I want my Daystar," she sobbed.

Suddenly Chin-Chin, Truffle, Macaroon, Tater, and Salem appeared. "Hi!" They said. "We're the," They struck a pose. "Funny Munchkins! Whenever someone is sadâwe'll be there! Whenever someone needs to be cheered upâwe'll be there! Whenever someone is turned pinkâwell we won't necessarily be _there_."

Macaroon wanted to sit on Cimorene's lap. Because that's what kittens are supposed to do, isn't it? But since Cimorene was standing up, se decided she would have to settle for her shoulder. Since Cimorene was quite tall, he decided he would have to take the vertical route –straight up.

"OW!" Cimorene yelled, feeling Macaroon's claws sink into her legs. "That _HURTS!"_

King Kazul laughed, evilly. "Now you know how I feel! They do that to us _every _day at dinner! You would think if they wanted to sit on my lap that much they would jump but _no_, they have to climb."

Suddenly, Inigo, Wesley, Morticia, Gomez, and Thing disappeared. "What just happened?" asked Hermione, who hadn't been paying attention.

"I sent all the television characters back to their televisions." said King Kazul.

"Why?" asked Susan who had been having a secret love affair with Inigo Montoya. "They were cool."

"I'm _mad_ at television." said King Kazul. "My show's not on tonight."

Suddenly they found a secret message. It said:

"Huh?????????????" said Shiara.

"I think I know!" said Macaroon. She hadn't actually _seen _the message, being on top of Cimorene's shoulder, but she had special powers. Unfortunately, No one heard her, as King Kazul thought that for the sake of convenience it would make more sense for Hermione to decode the message.

"I know what it says!" said Hermione. "It's in BrailleâI learned it in seventh grade. It saysâshe read the message slowly and painstakingly "âhello"

"You're not fluent, are you," said King Kazul.

"Yes I am!" said Hermione defensively.

"You're not."

"I am!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Then why'd it take so long for you to read the one word?"

"Braille is a very complex language!" Hermione said angrily. "_You _wouldn't knowâyou've probably never even heard of it!"

"As a matter of fact," said King Kazul loftily. "I learned it in fifth grade."

"âoh" said Hermione.

"Hey, Hermione," said Harry who had been staring thoughtfully out the window.

"Yes, Harry." said Hermione patiently.

"I was wonderingâYou said that you learned it in seventh grade, but you would have been in seventh grade when you were twelve or thirteen, wouldn't you? And you were at Hogwarts then. So'

"Oh, Harry you mean I haven't told you?" said Hermione horrified. "I skipped first, second, and third years and went straight to fourth, with you guys."

"Yeah, right Hermione." Said Harry. "We went to school with you in 1st , 2nd and 3rd years, remember?"

"Oh, that wasn't me." said Hermione. "That was my sister Geremino."

"Oh, right." Said Harry. "She's the lead singer on the Weird Sisters.

"Hermione, I feel so hurt that you never told me this." Said Draco sadly. "For all the years we've been going out"

Harry's scream echoed around the world and back again, seven times.

A/N: Will Harry ever recover from the news? Will Hermione ever tell Ron the secret? And who will be the Funny Munchkins' next victim? Find out in chapter 5 Of Treehouses and the Ex oh god of Hangovers. If you review I will post it. If not, thenâShame on you!


	5. Of Treehuses and the ex oh god of hangov...

Chapter 5: Of Tree houses and the Ex Oh God of Hangovers

Disclaimer: I still own Macaroon, Chin-Chin, Truffle, Tater, and Salem. But that's it.

A/N:

Bobette the Builder: You haven't read the Enchanted Forest Chronicles? (gasp) Shame on you! But thanks.

I'm not sure about your radio/cd player. Only it knows how innocent it is.

THIS TAKES PLACE IN SOME RANDOM BUILDING IN SOME RANDOM PLACE.

Kazul was tired of the characters in her fanfic. So she kicked everybody out. Except Cimorene (because Cimorene _is _ Queen of the Enchented Forest, after all.) and Susan. Because she's cool.

They all built tree houses. Well not _all _of them. Harry, Hermione, Neville, Malfoy, and Voldemort built a five story one to share. Actually Hermione built it, because she's the best witch in her class. And Juliet built another one, also rather large, for all the Artemis Fowl characters. Because she's very strong. And educated. And Telemain just summoned his tower, and glued it to a branch. With super strong glue, invented by wizards. (Hey, they are good for _some _things you know.) and Death rode away on Binky. And since Vetinari was _slightly _dead, he wasn't really _solid _so he couldn't build a tree house.

Anyway, since all the characters had gotten kicked out King Kazul decided she would have to get some new ones. "Lessee," she said. "I've already had a request for the Oh God. So," and the oh god appeared.

"oh, _me,_" moaned the oh god.

"Hey!" said Susan. "I thought you were going to get into a new line of work.

"Oh, _me,_" said the oh god again. "Well somebody's got to take over for the oh god of hangovers, occasionally. And it's not like I've got much _other _work to do"

"Oh, right" said Susan. "Whatever happened to Violet?"

"She's working today." The oh god informed her. "She couldn't come."

"Oh, right." Said Susan again.

"So," said King Kazul. "What other characters should I introduce, in a subtle way, to the story? Or maybe not so subtle. Whatever."

"Why not somebody from-" Susan began, but King Kazul cut her off.

"No, no new books. I've had ENOUGH!" said King Kazul.

"Well, you have to get _somebody_ or this story will be very boring." Said the oh god who seemed to have used its supernatural powers to figure out what was going on.

"I KNOW!" said King Kazul. "The people who will review will tell me who _they _would like to see make a grand entrance on Who Killed Lord Vetinari, This is random and pointless and very short. WARNING! don't read this if you're looking for a serious story. It is a mix of characters from Discworld, Harry Potter, Enchanted Forest, and Artemis Fowl. Discworld - PG - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3047 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 9-11-04 - Published: 9-5-04

/DIV TD "

"Uh...great." Said Cimorene happily.

"Mwahahahahaha!" said Susan.

"WoW!" said King Kazul.

"VeryloudScreamsthatcanonlymeansomebodyisfearingforthesanityofaknownmadaxmurdererwhohappenstobeinthesameroomashimorher" said Cimorene, Susan, and the oh God.

"VeryloudScreamsthatcanonlymeansomebodyisfearingforthesanityofaknownmadaxmurdererwhohappenstobeinthesameroomashimorher" said King Kazul because she didn't want to be left out.

"Mwahahahahaha!" said Susan.

"WoW!" said King Kazul again.

"veryloudScreamsthatcanonlymeansomebodyisfearingforthesanityofaknownmadaxmurdererwhohappenstobeinthesameroomashimorher" said everybody else.

"No, not again!!!!!" said King Kazul.

"Guess what?" asked Cimorene, Susan, and the oh god.

"What?" asked King Kazul, warily.

"CHICKEN BUTT!" yelled Cimorene Susan and the oh god, and immediately cracked up.

"This chapter is going to end." Said King Kazul.

"YAY!" shouted everyone.

"That wasn't as big as my WoWs." Said King Kazul.

"WAS SO!" said Cimorene, Susan, and the oh god, gravely injured.

"WAS NOT!" said King Kazul, very annoyed.

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS SO!"

"This chapter is OVAH!" announced King Kazul.

"Hey, you used that one last time." Announced the oh god.

"I did?" asked King Kazul. She booted up her computer, opened the folder marked 'fanfics' opened the file marked 'who killed lord Vetinari chapter 5' and read it. "I did." She agreed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The chapter ended. It was so sad.

A/N MWahahahahahahah! WoW! So if you ever want to see this story again you will review. Because if you don't I will know. I know where you live. And IF YOU DON'T REVIEW THEIR WILL BE NO NEW CHARACTERS AND IT WILL BE BORING AND SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR NOT REVIEWING. And I will sic Teatime on you. Come on, review. You know you wanna. Please?


	6. Of Some New Characters

Disclaimer: Anyone who can guess what I'm going to say will get a nice shiny penny. WoW! This _is_ a smart bunch! Right! I own absolutely nothing. Mwaha. MwaHAhaHAha. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ThePioden: YAY! Drive the psychiatrists insane! MWAhaHAhaHAhaHA! WoW! That was _fun_. But for some strange reason I think we are all _far_ past the point where therapy would be _any_ use at all. But that's just me. And call me crazy (wait. You already did, sorta didn't you? Oh well.) but I can't figure out who Quoth is. I asked my mom and she had no idea and my sister and she had no idea and they are mucho Terry Pratchett readers like me. So go figure.

Tindomiel: Couldn't agree more. Cheers!

Wottabout: NO! No Animorphs for you. Come back in one year. Only in one year there will be still no Anomorphs. I have decided to completely reform. Which means no Animorphs. Discworld only. Except for Cimorene. Because it would be _cruel_ to kick her out now. But no Animorphs. EVER! MWAhaHAhaHAhaHAha! WoW! That was _fun_!

Chapter 6: of some new characters

Part 1: Your computer:

Your computer is definitely not innocent at _all_ if it misled you to click on my story. It is plotting to turn your brain to mush. MWAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHA! WoW! That was _fun_!

Part 2: YAY!

"I have an announcement," said King Kazul, standing on her desk and talking into a microphone although there _was_ only four people in the room. Go figure. "We have had several requests for new characters. So may I present as per Wottabout's request, a group of people who have achieved what no one else has. While being some of the smartest men in the world, they have still managed to be remarkably daft. Put your hands together for" drumroll "the Wizards! And one wizzard! Because we need somebody to mess everything up! MWAHA!"

The Archchancellor Ridcully, the Dean, Ponder Stibbons, Hex, and The Chair of Indefinite Studies appeared. Rincewind appeared. (after much careful consideration we decided he deserved a sentence all to himself.)

"What is that machine doing here?" asked Ridcully. Then looking around, he said, "What are _we_ doing here? Men,"

"What, Archancellor?" said either the Dean or the Chair. You choose.

"Where's the Senior Wrangler?" asked Ridcully. "Where's the _librarian_?"

"Oooook," said the Librarian helpfully.

"What did he say? What did he say?" asked Ridcully, running around in circles.

"Er...I believe it was something like 'Oooook', sir." said the Dean or the Chair. Whichever one you didn't pick last time.

"Ah. I see." Said the Archancellor.

"It looks like we are in fact in a fanfiction, sir," ventured Ponder.

"HEY!" said King Kazul. "How'd you know _that?_"

"Er...that sign over there that says 'Welcome to ' gave me a bit of a tip." Said Ponder.

"Hey!" said the oh god out of the blue. "I remember you fellows now! You're the men who enjoyed torturing The God of Wine, what'shisface. You were _wizards_? I didn't know."

Everyone stared at him. Except Cimorene who had no idea what anyone was talking about.

"er...bad memory, me." said the oh god embarrassed.

Everyone turned back to the wizards.

"A _fanfiction_?" asked Ridcully. "One of those thingies where random people steal trademarked characters and torture them, embarrass them, and do other equally cruel things to them in front of an audience? One of _those_ things?"

"Er...Possibly." Ponder conceded.

"Now that y'all have got _that_ all figured out can I please go on?" asked King Kazul annoyed.

"Yes. Please do." Said all.

"FINALLY!" said King Kazul.

Part 3: DOUBLE YAY!

"Now I shall introduce somebody else. They may have been requested by ThePideon. Or they may not. I will not tell you. If you want to know _that _badly, just READ THE STUPID REVIEWS! After you write one of your own, of course. This character would be Quoth. Only being the idiot I am I have no idea who Quoth _is_. So we will have to settle for Lobsang."

Lobsang appeared. "Yo, people." He said.

"Hello, Lobsang." Said King Kazul. Because no one else really wanted to talk to him.

"hey, chick. Wassup?" said Lobsang.

A small female child who will be gone as soon as she says her line said, "Hahaha. He _talks_ funny." Poof.

Her mother who will be gone as soon as she says _her _line said. "It's not Good Manners to make fun of others' speech habits. Small female children must have Good Manners, now mustn't they." Poof.

"Pardon me, but why are you talking like a teenage American surfer?" asked Ridcully who didn't even know what a teenage American Surfer _was._

"Oh, like, was I?" asked Lobsang. "It was because I decided to like go like totally punk, see?"

"Right..." said everybody, slowly edging away from him.

"Part three," King Kazul began,

"Why do I get the feeling that you're doing that wrong?" asked Cimorene.

"Because I am. I hoped nobody would notice." Said King Kazul. "DARN!"

Part 3: TRIPLE YAY!

"and now for the request of my very special and talented self..." said King Kazul. "I give you...the Witches."

Esme Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick, and Agnes Nitt appeared.

"hey, how come there's four witches?" asked Susan. "That's Not Right."

"I know it's Not Right, dear." Said King Kazul. "But I didn't want to leave Magrat out because her feelings might be hurt, and Agnes is _cool_. Well actually Perdita is cool, but I figured I'd better bring Agnes too."

"But Perdita isn't here." Said Agnes. "I kicked her out."

"You kicked _Perdita_ out?" asked Granny disbelievingly.

"Well, she was _annoying_ me." said Agnes defensively.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled King Kazul. And the Chapter ended. It was Even Sadder.

Part 4: MWAHAHAHAHAHA

The chapter is over. So therefore, it would make more sense if there wasn't a part 4, wouldn't it? Well guess what? TOO BAD! I'm the author so what _I_ say goes. And I say there _is_ a Part 4. So there! Ha! I told you, didn't I? Well now you know better than to argue with me, don't you? And you solemnly promise _never_ to do it again, right? _Nice_ Audience.

Part 5: The End.

The end of the chapter is approaching. OH! The end of the chapter is here? Why didn't someone tell me? Some people have no respect these days. Heh.

Part 6: The (true) End.

The End.

Wait, so I was right wasn't I? It really _was_ approaching. The author is always right. Especially when she's an all A student. MWAhaHAhaHA! WoW! That was _fun!_

Part 7: The real, true _end_, end.

The end.

A/N: Yo, people. Mwaha. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! MWAhaHAhaHAhaHA! WoW! That was _fun_!

I may or may not continue to add characters. If you request them I will probably add them. But not _too_ many.

And if you want to be in it, tell me. But I am only having on Special Guest per chapter. So you will probably only be in one chapter. Ha!


	7. A chapter with no title

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. Possibly. So you're not going to sue me. Because if you had a problem with people borrowing other people's characters then you wouldn't be on this site. Unless you were mental. In which case, you might. I don't know. Because although I _am_ of course mental I have no problem with people borrowing other people's characters. Especially if the former person is me. I think. So I have never had a chance to find out.

A/N: I am going to give you a list of characters that will and will not be added to this chapter. That way if you have a problem with it you can leave and if it makes you happy you can R&R. Now that _that_ is all cleared up...

Characters that will make an entry in this chapter:

Quoth (Because I know who he is now. Of course I knew the raven, but _I never knew he was named Quoth!_ It's crazy, I know. But I don't think his name is actually mentioned in _Hogfather_. And I only read _Thief of Time_ once. But now that I have just reread _Thief Of Time_...Well actually I haven't _finished _it I only started it yesterday after all and I've had school...But anyway now I've seen the name Quoth, and know who he is he will be given a part in my fanfic. So, yeah.)

Teatime (Because I absolutely agree. This could be _very interesting._)

But no Tiffany. Because I haven't read _A Hat Full of Sky _or _the Wee Free Men_ or anything else that could possibly feature Tiffany. Because my mom and my sister read them and said there was lots of stuff in them involving animals. And I don't like stuff involving animals. But I _might_ read them and if I do We Will See about Tiffany.

And you'll see about Perdita. I will _not_ see about Perdita because _I know what is going to happen!!!!!!!!_

Now that I have scared most of my readers off...

THIS TAKES PLACE AT THE PLACE WHERE KING KAZUL IS HOLDING _ALL_ THE CHARACTERS. NOT _SOME_ OF THE CHARACTERS. _ALL_ OF THEM.

Oh I forgot. Your Science teacher is _not innocent at all. _You must of worn off on him. (or her) Shame on you!

"SO" announced King Kazul. "How y'all doin' today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"I _like _it here." Said Rincewind, (of _course_), "It's so incredibly _boring_. And no one has threatened my life for at least twenty minutes."

"Well having your life threatened is half the fun of it." said Conina the Hairdresser. "Boy, do I wish I hadn't become a hairdresser. Oh for the life of a barbarian hero..."

"Y'know there aren't any rules that say you can't be a barbarian hero _after_ being a hairdresser." Rincewind pointed out.

"Well!" said Conina clearly appalled. "I have a master's in Hairdressing 101 now. You can't go changing careers at my time in life."

She then disappeared. Because if somehow you didn't notice she wasn't on the list of characters at the beginning of the story. So she had no right to be in this chapter at all. She is a Bad Girl.

"Ook" said the Librarian.

"Hey, all." Said Quoth out of the blue. "'scuse me but where am I?"

SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.

"No!" said Susan. "Just for _once_ I try to lead a normal life and _you_ have to come spoil it. What does he want _now?_ Oh don't tell me. I have to save the world a_gain._ Well I refuse. I just want a normal life. The world can go to (B!EEP) for all I care."

SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.

"Trust me, we don't want to be here any more than _you _want us to be here. But I won't say no to any eyeballs if you've got 'em."

SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.

"No I _don't_ have any eyeballs." said Susan. "Honestly, you think I run a-a-a _eyeball_ shop or something."

SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats

"I have some eyeballs," said King Kazul.

SQUEAK, said...you guessed it! The Death of Rats.

"_Really?????"_ gasped the raven. "No one's _ever_ given me eyeballs before."

SQUEAK, said Susan. Yes, that's right Susan. Which proves that brain transplants really work on tiny, skeletal, rodents.

"I didn't say I was going to _give_ them to you!" said King Kazul.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," said Quoth pouting.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," chanted the audience in unison.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooook" said the librarian.

"I will give you an eyeball if you will carry my briefcase." Said King Kazul.

"Deal!" said Quoth. So he carried her briefcase. She handed him a lemon.

"HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" said everyone. "That's not an eyeball! No fair!"

SQUEAK, said some random person.

"SQUEAK" said everyone else.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" said some random person.

/Out of cheese error/ said Hex. /although I hate cheese/

"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" said Ridcully.

"Oh, didn't we tell you?" said Adrian. "He's developed a personality."

"He?" asked Ridcully. "It's an it."

"Ook" said the Librarian.

/I am not an it/ said Hex. /I live therefore I am a he/

"ANYWAYS," said Ridcully loudly. "I meant how could _anyone_ hate _cheese_? Cheese _rules."_

"Cheese _sucks._" Said King Kazul.

"Rules"

/Sucks"

"Rules"

"Sucks/

"_rules"_

/su_cks"_

"_rules"_

"_Su_CKS/

"RULES"

/SUCKS"

"THAT"S ENOUGH!" said Cimorene. "Geez, what's _wrong_ with you people?"

"HUMPH!" said King Kazul. "THAT WAS RUDE!"

"Yup." said Cimorene.

"Ook" said the Librarian.

"So _I _can be rude back." said King Kazul. She waved a hand and Cimorene disappeared. To lead a sad and lonely life on top of a mountain.

"That didn't happen" the chief of security told everyone.

"Er..." said Ridcully

"Er..." said the Dean

"Er..." said Ponder Stibbons.

/Er.../ said Hex

"Er..." said the Chair

"Er..." said Rincewind

"Er..." said Lobsang

"Er..." said Granny

"Er..." said Nanny

"Er..." said Agnes

"Ook" said the librarian.

"SHUT UP MONKEY!" said King Kazul.

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Said the librarian.

Several minutes later...

"THAT DIDN"T HAPPEN!" said the chief of security.

"OKAY, OKAY" said everybody. Including King Kazul.

And then since they were all in agreement (for once in their lives) the chapter ended.

"Now I will be introducing our Guest star...Bobette the Builder!" said King Kazul.

"mwahaMwAhAMWAHA" said Bobette the builder.

The chief of security whispered something quietly to King Kazul.

"AGAIN!" roared King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul. "Don't nobody tell the fanfic writer anything! But nooooooooooooo it's just your little secret. I've had it. You all have detention."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled everyone.

A/N: R&R R&R R&R R&R R&R R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&! NOW! OR YOU WILL BE JOINING EVERYBODY IN DETENTION! AND I AM NOT USING THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON! I HAVE ONE FINGER ON THE SHIFT BUTTON! IT WORKS JUST AS WELL ACTUALLY! THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!

OMFG (Oh my Fred and George) I forgot. Quoth appeared. Because he has to make an entrance. And Teatime appeared. Because he had to make an entrance.


	8. A Chapter With a Title

Chapter 8: a chapter with a title.

Disclaimer: Okay if you haven't figured out yet that I own nobody you really _are_ a nutcase. Although I guess anybody who's survived to this point in my fic has to be…

A/N Wow. I haven't updated in ages and ages. So I hope nobody got tired of waiting for an update, and abandoned my story. Then I would be sad.

Purified-demon: Odd? Of course its odd. I'll take that as a compliment. Carrot's cool. Ill add him.

Kyra Skye- wow. You sound like another person who probably shouldn't have sugar…join the club. The Luggage! Yay.

Poison blossom- yes its very random. I agree. I never read Wings, but ill add the frogs anyway.

LandUnderWave- see? Im finally updating. I'm most heartily sorry I didn't update for so long, I suck, I know.

hpsauce87- wow a plot. Theres a scary thought. But I'll try. And Binky was in it already, Death rode away on him. So I'll ole' Cut-me-own-throat.

DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen-thanks

Some kind of swedish person-Down with cheese! And no, im not bringing anybody back.

lazy.kender- hehe, thanks

Wottabout- ew. Melted cheese is the worst kind.

Wow, theres 21 characters, or there will be. NO MORE CHARACTERS!

THIS TAKES PLACE WHEREVER YOU WANT IT TO. ITS ALL IN YOUR MIND…

Ahem. Okay. Anyways.

"Detention time!" King Kazul announced cheerfully.

"No! Not that! Anything but that!" said everybody.

"MWAHA! I will take over the world!" Yelled King Kazul.

"MWAHA! No you won't" yelled everybody else.

"MWAHA! Will too!"

"MWAHA! Won't!"

"MWAHA! Yes!"

"MWAHA! No!"

"WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" shouted Susan.

"Okay." Said King Kazul. "Your detentions are all canceled."

"Okay." Said Susan.

"Now can we get back to our argument?" asked King Kazul.

"No you (BEEP) well can't." said Susan.

"Oh, me" said the oh god.

"Don't you have some new characters to introduce?" asked Granny.

"Could that be… EYEBALLS?" said Quoth.

"It's a computer, hun." Said Susan.

"HOLY (BEEP)!"

"Do I have to?" whined King Kazul.

"Have to what?" asked Magrat.

"Introduce the new characters."

"Yes." Said Granny.

"(BEEP) you."

CMOT, the frogs, the Luggage, and Carrot appeared.

"Wanna buy a sausage inna bun? Only fifteen thousand dollars and that's cutting me own throat." Said CMOT.

"I have fifteen thousand dollars!" said Carrot eagerly.

"That's nice. Wanna buy a sausage inna bun?"

"NOOOOOO! BAD CMOT Dibbler!" said King Kazul.

"What'd I do _now_?" asked CMOT Dibbler.

"I hate those two horrible, foul, dirty, disgusting, wretched words. I HATE them. With every bit of me. I ABSOLUTELY_ LOATHE _THEM!" said King Kazul working herself into a state.

"What words?" asked everyone confused.

"I can't even utter them." Said King Kazul, looking sick.

"That's nice." Said Susan.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled King Kazul, and then she died. Everyone was sad.

"Oh, _those _words." Said Susan.

"Can I have all her money?" asked Ridcully, sounding very sad indeed.

"Actually, sir…" began Ponder Stibbons.

"I don't even want to hear it, Stibbons." Said Ridcully.

"Yes, sir."

"I still have fifteen thousand dollars." Announced Carrot.

"Can I have that, too?" asked Ridcully.

"Nobody said you were getting King Kazul's money." Snapped Granny. "I think a poor old granny…"

"Naturally, _I_'ll get the money, because I've been here longest." Said Susan.

"I thought you were supposed to be a duchess!" said the Oh God, then as an afterthought added, "Oh, _me_."

"I _am_!" said Susan, drawing herself up regally.

"So don't you have plenty of money?"

"Everyone could use more money." Said Susan.

"That's right. So I should get it to add to my fifteen thousand dollars." Said Carrot.

"Whoa, dawg, you have _fifteen thousand _buckaroos?" said Lobsang.

Everyone cracked up. "Where have you _been_ this whole chapter?" asked Susan.

"Er…" said Lobsang.

"Er, what?" Asked Nanny, grinning expectantly.

"Well…" said Lobsang. Granny cackled.

"Hey! I don't _cackle_!" said Granny, taking over control of the computer.

" "Well…" said Lobsang. Granny laughed in a witchy way.

"Man, I was watching Barney." Said Lobsang.

Everybody cracked up, yet _again_. Then King Kazul came back from the dead. Everyone was very happy.

"Aw, (BEEP), now I don't get your money!" said Ridcully, sounding very happy indeed.

The chapter ended.

A/N: kinda short I know. And not too funny. Sorry. R&R anyway


End file.
